Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
— Thomas Jefferson

Did you ever stop to notice that honesty takes a whole lot of courage? 

There is a growing concern I have been observing lately - the avoidance of sharing honest feedback.  It seems to be happening because of a fear in hurting the feelings of others or that maybe that others won’t like us anymore when we speak our truth.

Over the course of the last few months I have seen this pop up more and more.  It seems to be coinciding with the stress over the upcoming presidential election - no matter which side of the fence you happen to be on. 

Let’s face it, the human psyche is pretty complex with over 10,000 thoughts happening in a given day per person. It’s no wonder that we don’t all have the same exact thoughts at the same time!  Now add to that our modern constant communication tools of email, texting and social media.   It can get quite uncomfortable when you aren’t sharing the same thought process as someone else.  

I did a little investigation into the topic of emotional honesty since we are covering the topic of cooperation this month.   Here is what I found out are essential mindsets in order to create healthy long lasting relationships.

  1. The emotion of anger can make us the most honest but not usually in a good way.  Don’t let an issue with someone smolder until you hit a breaking point because then words get said that many times you don’t even mean because you are carried away in the heat of the moment.
  2. Listening lets your hear their truth as well in order to come to a mutual understanding. Be ready to fully listen once you share your truth.
  3. You can’t please everyone.  Sometimes you simply are going to offend someone when you are honest about how you are feeling.  The key is in how you open up the conversation to a resolution that will create a win/win solution.
  4. Playing it safe and always avoiding the risk of conflict at all costs forces you to miss out on many of the benefits that come from emotional honesty.   When you are both fully honest and open to compromise you can actually create a deeper relationship.
  5. Pleasing everyone except yourself can cause your true feelings to get compromised in order to keep others happy.  Living how we think others need to perceive us can lead to an inauthentic life, which in turn can lead to resentment and never feeling satisfied.

As you head into this week pay attention to any situations where you find you are tip toeing around an issue.  Especially if it is a situation that you have tip toed around a lot in the past and find yourself getting more and more uncomfortable avoiding. Open yourself up to speaking your truth in these ways to build deeper relationships, which can lead to happier life on so many levels!  

Have a most excellent week ahead as you find the ways for you to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.   

To Your Successes and Victories,
- Cheri

Cheri Ruskus 
Author, Business Growth Coach, 
and Founder of the Victory Circles